fir the sake of xmas

rockefeller centre, new york.




this tree is scouted out and selected from the north american continent (this year from connecticut).

it is topped by a 3 metre 250 kg monster swarovski crystal star.

it has probably got undiscovered native wildlife living in its branches.


trafalgar square, london.



this tree is given by the city of oslo as a token of norwegian gratitude to the people of london for their assistance during the years 1940-45.

a tree has been given annually since 1947.

it is decorated in traditional norwegian style with 500 white bulbs. since 2008 low wattage halogen bulbs have been used.

i appreciate the sentiment of the tree here in london, but norway… what. the. fuck?

norway, your “tree” is like that fugly vase that aunty noreen gave us one year and we have to drag it out every year when you visit lest we offend you.

it looks like last year's tree. it looks like it's been through the wash.

this is LONDON dammit! not some backwater village centre. surely london deserves better than this.

thanks, norway… you’ve ruined christmas.

dbt

grab what now?

oh, now this is becoming ridiculous.

look at this:



"grab hot gifts" the bottle says.

yeah, hot gifts. hot gifts and a face full of christmas cheer while you're down there.

this is an image from the 2L bottle. it's basically a high def version of the one on the can. on this one you can see santa is quite flushed from the effort of spraying all over the place. but is he a little pleased with himself?

you bet your giant, exploding, christmas cracker he is, kids.

dbt

merry jizzmass

well, i WAS enjoying my coca cola until i noticed the festive season logo.

it's not just me, is it?

santa is holding his big cock and spraying his creamy christmas cheer all over our faces.

thanks santa. ho ho ho you massive arsehole, now i need a shower.

dbt

metro fail

stop the presses!

i guess the metro is edited by lifer city-folk who think all quadropedal north american predators look the same.

i've added some helpful additions here to this news article in todays metro for those of you interested in the accuracy of the fourth estate.

dbt

ЯocktobeR

Im doing a Tumblelog for ЯocktobeR 2009 over here.

You can also see the ЯocktobeR Flickr set.

And you can follow me on twitter.

Mmmmm.

Synergy.